LHC Limericks

The place to discuss the LHC. Commissioning, operation, issues, events ....
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andrewp
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Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:10 pm

LHC Limericks

Post by andrewp » Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:22 pm

"We'll take it straight up to full power!"
The boss shouted down from his tower
So they pulled out the stops
Then heard some loud pops
Splashed Geneva with particle shower

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Tau 2
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Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:17 pm
Location: Heemskerk

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by Tau 2 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:56 pm

I love it! How about this one:

The tube is so cold that it freezes
it puts in some protons and squeezes
the protons go fast
it ends in a blast
and all that remains are some pieces

(Yes, I know the ramp is before the squeeze: freedom of the poet :-) )
Last edited by Tau 2 on Wed Apr 08, 2015 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Tau

andrewp
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Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:10 pm

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by andrewp » Mon Apr 06, 2015 9:33 pm

They keep getting better!
Another:

A guy on the LHC team
Said "Hey! I was using that beam!"
The Ops had gone home
And left him alone
With no beam, but some peaches and cream

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CharmQuark
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Location: Berwick-Upon-Tweed (UK)

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by CharmQuark » Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:14 am

:-D
Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted with large ones either by Albert Einstein.

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DCWhitworth
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Location: Norwich, UK

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by DCWhitworth » Tue Apr 07, 2015 12:06 pm

There was a young doctor who said
"Will it hurt if I stick in my head ?"
So the silly young twit
Went ahead and did it
Now we don't know 'cos he's dead

There once were some science big wigs
Who said "We must search for the Higgs"
So they built a machine
That was wholly supreme
And it worked so they're all dancing jigs
DC

The LHC - One ring to rule them all !

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DCWhitworth
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Re: LHC Limericks

Post by DCWhitworth » Tue Apr 07, 2015 12:08 pm

There once was that Lady Godiva
Who said "I adore that collider"
So she went round the ring
And ate the whole thing
So now the collider's inside 'er
DC

The LHC - One ring to rule them all !

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DCWhitworth
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Re: LHC Limericks

Post by DCWhitworth » Tue Apr 07, 2015 12:13 pm

There was a young girl called Charm Quark
Who found that her choices were stark
She was told to decay
Without further delay
But she muttered "Sod that for a lark"
DC

The LHC - One ring to rule them all !

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DCWhitworth
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Re: LHC Limericks

Post by DCWhitworth » Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:30 pm

"Mein Collider ist schnell und vill Feuer"
Said that excellent Herr Doctor Heuer
But he made a black hole
And it swallowed us whole
And now he's in need of a lawyer
DC

The LHC - One ring to rule them all !

andrewp
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Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:10 pm

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by andrewp » Tue Apr 07, 2015 8:32 pm

you're on a roll (with minor bickering about scansion)

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DCWhitworth
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Re: LHC Limericks

Post by DCWhitworth » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:26 pm

andrewp wrote:you're on a roll (with minor bickering about scansion)
I have amended one of them to account for this, but in response to your point I present my all time favourite limerick -

There was a young bard of Japan,
Who's poetry never would scan,
When told it was so,
he replied "Yes I know
"But I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can"
DC

The LHC - One ring to rule them all !

tomey36
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Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:39 pm

Re: LHC Limericks

Post by tomey36 » Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:09 am

I went the the LHC last summer
They said it was shut down, what a bummer!
So I snuck in with glee
Turned on the machine
When the ground started to shake I did a runner

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